Star Trek Beyond Review

I going to try to be gentle and try not to let my emotions get the of me in this movie review. But screw you Justin Lin and Simon Pegg(sigh). I digress, just having saw the third installment of J.J. Abrams Star Trek Beyond, I am wondering if he ( Abrams ) even cares about the Star Trek franchise anymore. Who would blame him, he has the keys to the more famous and popular Star Wars franchise that is going to make him alot more fame and fortune. Maybe this  why he gave the keys to a Fast and Furious director ( none of those movies gave a great story, just cars jumping out if planes and taking on tanks) and a writer who’s fame is comedic movies that poke fun of other genres ( Shaun of the Dead, Super Fuzz, Paul).


The movie is a typical summer movie with lots of action and funny humor thrown in to keep the kids happy and off their phones for at least two hours, maybe. But this is my problem with the film (it could be just me, and that’s fine) it doesn’t feel like a Star Trek movie to me. Maybe it’s the Emo Captain Kirk and Spock. It could be that Scottie (Simon Pegg) is in half the movie dropping one liner’s every other sentence. Must be good being one of the co-writers. Maybe it’s the silliness of some of the other alien cultures that have no impact on the story but has the same seriousness of a Jar Jar Binks.

My main issue is these things, first the protagonist Krail is similar to a vampiric alien leader with his Halo rip off Swarm army. The fact that the thing he is after is an ancient “super power” weapon that for some reason we haven’t thought of something that would be more powerful and effective is beyond comprehension. It is that the way of beating the swarm is hooking up a boom box to your ship and bumping some Beastie Boys. One other thing, who is in freaking charge of the Federation. You have the best equipped ship The U.S.S. Enterprise Captained by Kirk which he totally destroys but also crashes another ship. That’s two in the same movie , but the reward him with a new state of the art ship. Think about that one for a bit. Your galactic taxes going to a good place.

Listen make up your own mind, go see the movie. Just don’t forget I told you so.


Cohort of Talking Geek with Mike and Brad podcast, compulsive in nature, fan of anything Geek. Tends to be seen riding wild Wildernesses in the nude

  • Brad

    As an FYI, I just saw this movie with Mike, and I loved it. I’m not sure what he was watching. The only thing I’ll agree on was that the Beastie Boys part was pretty damned stupid. His unreasonable hate for Scottie is… well… unreasonable.

    *runs away*